SPRINGFIELD, MO — As a conservative Republican, I was taken aback by an odd experience with GOP zealots last Friday.
A Facebook friend posted a video of a meeting of conservatives in progress at a local establishment. Intrigued, I decided to drive over to the Springfield restaurant to check it out.
A group of familiar political faces greeted me as I entered the huddle in the corner of the dining area.
They were divided into the “big kids” table, with the strongest political office holder, flanked by an officeholding hopeful. Groupies and supporters filled the seats.
Nearby, at a small table, a political strategist sat, feeling a connection with the big table.
A smaller table swelled with extra chairs and a self-designated leader organizing a political strategy filled the majority of the remaining section.
The proposed leader of the small table scowled. Her young daughter looked trapped in the corner. I sat at an empty chair beside her husband. He tried to say something to someone at the big table, not paying attention to me. His scowling wife turned her glare to me. “You’re in Maryam’s seat,” she said like a church lady whose pew was stolen by a visitor.
“Ok,” I said, calm.
I wore my brightest rooster shirt smattered with big, goofy rooster cartoons that my wife gave me for my birthday, along with my “Johnny Rooster” Press badge with yellow lanyard. I looked pretty “spiffy wiffy” with my trim gray beard, deep set blue eyes, and well-trimmed dark hair. I’m tallish and semi attractive, and my impish smile and twinkling eyes make me an object of derision for people who look like they eat lemons and dill pickles for breakfast.
Maryam (Mohammadkhani, the little spitfire on the Springfield School Board) had already text messaged me this morning. We know what’s up. But the circle leader didn’t want me stinking up Maryam’s designated seat at the War Room Strategy Table.
“Maryam already talked to me today,” I said, mildly unamused. The War Room Strategy Table Self-Designated Leader turned her glare from me to her husband and chewed him out for talking about something sacred to the person at the big table. Nothing like a humiliating, emasculating gripe session in public!
I slid away from the angry table and my phone rang. Maryam. (LOL!) If only Miss Angry Small Table Leader could hear this! Maryam said she was on her way to a meeting. “Is it at ….(I named the location of the meeting I was sitting in) and she said, ‘how did you know’?”
Maryam arrived and greeted me and I let her join the angry mob of GOP strategists as I sat with the final table where the organizer of the event sat alone. Sad, lonely expression on his withered face beneath his ever present red MAGA hat.
We talked heart to heart. He was discouraged; having a bad day.
Empathy filled my heart. Here was the organizer, the spear head, lost and alone, while his group rallied in their usual spots following a mixed-up Aug. 6 primary. I learned the group met every Friday starting a 6 a.m. and gathering steam. It was already 9.
The only other seat at our table of two was filled by a state representative. I talked with him and shared my vision for skilled labor. He was intrigued. We exchanged contact info and promised to get back together on the idea. He’s from Billings, a true red-blooded small town American.
A young kid walked up. “I like your shirt, where did you get it?” I told him my wife got it from Temu, a nasty Chinese racket, but he should look at Hardaddy for loudly designed shirts.
(CLICK THE TEMU TAB FOR A LOOK AT MY SHIRT)
I asked the kid what he planned to do with his life. He said something to make money. I told him I had an idea for him and later got his info and filled him in. The State Rep noticed. “That’s what I’m talking about; helping young men like that get into skilled labor,” I said, emphasizing my point.
Across the dining area was a well-known conservative radio talk show host, wrapping up his show. He does a live broadcast from the restaurant every Friday morning. I went over and talked to him and he and I were joking around when Maryam sauntered up and proceeded to rip me a new one about calling a conservative candidate a liberal (I did no such thing.) Here is the link to the article she was mad about. And here is another link to an article I wrote about her.
The talk show host looked on with glee as I interrupted the School Board Spitfire. “Do you sing, Maryam?” I asked. “Because we should go out and sing karaoke. My son is a DJ at a karaoke bar.”
“I don’t sing,” she said, flatly unamused.
“You need more music in your life,” I replied.
“I only want to talk about politics,” she retorted.
“I like you, Maryam. Are we still friends?”
She looked up at my big, goofy grin. “Yes.”
“Then high five me. Don’t leave me hanging!”
She did. I made her reach way up for it.
She went on to blah blah blah with the talk show host about political stuff as I stood my ground. She went back to her tribe and the talk show host and I walked outside. I told him I’m in the regular Springfield Improv show every second Saturday of the month at 1300 West Poplar St.
He said will definitely catch a show!