A. Truck Driver
B. Barstool Maker
C. Dog Poop Shoveler
D. Bowling Pro
VILLAGE INN, OZARK, MO— Mrs. Rooster and I come breezing in at the top of the hill on a sunny Saturday afternoon. Kathy and David (pronounced Dah-VEED) greet us like returning heroes. (At Village Inn, everyone is treated like royalty!)
“Two today?” Kathy says.
“We’re meeting someone,” I say.
“How many are joining you?” she asks.
“One more, but he might have two or three kids with him. Or four…”
A momentary pause, as everyone does mental math…
I notice a large table beyond a glass wall. It’s a family the size of The Walton’s from the 1970s TV hit series. Evey age kid and the parents.
“Nobody is here waiting yet,” Kathy says.
“Mr. Walton” stands up from the crowded table and waves. Oh. Well, maybe our guest has brought more than two or three kids.
We are seated in a nearby table as I realize the table with (I pause to count four, five, SIX kids!) is the guy I’m scheduled to meet. His wife is in the mix, so there are eight people at the big table. I guess that eliminates us from joining them!
“Take your time, Mark,” I say to him. “You can come over and do the interview anytime you’re ready.”
I’m wearing my PRESS badge with my face and my name JOHNNY ROOSTER CHRISTIAN COUNTY TRUMPET. The kids aren’t impressed. They have just received their food and are eagerly destroying it.
Alfonzo is our waiter. “Just dessert today,” we tell him. Mrs. Rooster wants pie. That’s what Village Inn is all about. Pie. “I like the peanut butter cup; but I don’t like peanuts,” she tells Alfonzo. He and I agree that sounds mighty contradictory indeed.
I order a lice of caramel pecan. And coffee. I never order coffee. For good reason. It charges my battery too high. I’m already cranked up 90 to nothing without caffeine. This will be an interesting ride, friends…
Mrs. R has hot chocolate, with whipped cream. It looks like a dessert unto itself. When her pie arrives, I quip to Alfonzo, “You were supposed to remove the peanuts.”
His eyes bug out.
He catches my smirk and smiles knowingly. “And put them into a little side dish so I could enjoy them!” I add with a wink. He laughs.
I’m adding creamer to dim the bitter. After three or four sips of coffee and a bite or two of pie, I’m soaring with the eagles…
Guess what this guy does for a living!
Mark Patrick joins us, wearing his camouflage hooded coat. He’s downed his lunch and is ready for his interview.
“I can’t help but wonder, when people ask you what you do for a living, what do you tell them?” I say.
“I clean up shit,” he says with all sincerity.
I lose it. In the first sentence, this is the funniest interview I’ve ever conducted!
On the down side, my pie is looking too much like the subject matter.
Mark Patrick, owner Doggie Doo Pet Waste Management in Highlandville, says though his job may “stink”, he’s grateful to set his own schedule and be his own boss.
He started a few years ago but it didn’t thrive. Then, when he started cleaning up after dogs for a living a second time, his wife Tina was skeptical.
After all, it takes money to raise kids. The Patrick’s have five of their own, plus three foster kids. They also have 5 dogs, 3 cats, and 2 minivans.
Mark got his dream job the second time around. He started with Facebook Marketplace ads, then invested in Google ads and Facebook ads. It worked. He was soon scooping poop full time, and quit his trucking gig.
Ah, the sweet smell of success. (OK, poor analogy!)
“Who cleans up after your dog’s at home?” I ask, looking over the wide array of kiddos.
“Nobody,” comes the reply.
Kinda like the cobblers’ kids need shoes?
Low overhead costs
Scooping dog poop from yards is a smart business. You do something nobody wants to do, but it’s simple. And low overhead.
“I spend about $78 per month on 13 gallon trash bags,” Mark told the CCT.
That, a rake, dust pan, and a nose plug, and you’re good to go!
(I added nose plug!)
Doggie Doo Pet Waste Management is a Facebook business page. Check it out!
Rates: $18 per week for one dog: add $2 per week for each additional dog. “Most customers have 2 or 3 dogs; the most is 7,” Mark says.
Call Mark Patrick at 417-300-4995 if you live in Christian or Greene County in Missouri.
Mark services yards one time, twice a week, weekly or bi-weekly.