SPARTA, MO — Sparta isn’t just an ancient Greek historical site. No way, man! It’s a quiet little town nestled somewhere on Missouri Highways 125 and 14. There’s stuff going on. Like, stuff to manage and be Sparta mayor!
So, being the hip, cool, Oldfield rural reporter guy that I am, I decided to break the piggy bank and splurge for a drive to the big city four miles away from my country home. I ventured all the way to Sparta. (a.k.a. Coryville). I got on my best suit, which is a pullover T-shirt, my boot cut jeans and cowboy boots from Buckle, and off I went into the wild blue yonder, straight to City Hall.
I drove up in my shiny 2007 Ford, making sure I parked where no oil stains could be traced back to me.
“This looks like a church,” I said as I walked up to city hall. So much for church and state. I glance at the Walmart watch my youngest son got me for Christmas over 2 years ago. The strap was already wearing thin, but I loved the memory of the watch. If only I knew if I was late for my appointment.
Oh, yeah. I don’t have one.
I hope the Mayor is in!
The clerk looked at me blankly. “She’s not in.”
Dang. Where can I find a Mayor when I need one?
Speaking of cops, there’s one now, watching me leave City Hall. Well, I’ll fool her. I’ll drive the speed limit for once. Ha! She stopped me on a Sunday once. Touched my car, for the fingerprint thingy. I called her out on it and she smiled. Real nice cop.
I was driving towards Hwy. 14, Main Street, whatever it is. You know, the main street through Sparta, when I saw a couple of yard signs. The mayor was pictured on one of them.
She looks real nice, I thought. I’m gonna find her and interview her about the April 4 election. I looked up her Facebook Campaign Page. I sent her a text.
Good afternoon, Mayor Davis!
(No answer)
I have a few questions regarding the purchase of the old bank.
(No answer)
- Who voted in favor of the purchase? What was the amount?
(no answer)
2. What fund did the purchase monies come from? Some say state funds for Covid Relief, and I want to know how the old bank would be connected to covid relifef.
(still no answer)
3. What was the reason for an emergency meeting prior to the bank building auction? Who was present to vote? How did each member vote?
(again, no answer)
4. What are the monthly expenses for the building?
(yep. no answer…this is getting old!)
5. What are the plans for the building?
I waited almost four hours, holding my breath. World record, I know! I fired the following comment off:
Thank you for your reply.
(no answer)
25 minutes passed… I typed another message:
I appreciate hearing your side of the story.
(no answer… at least she’s consistent!)
I can visit in person if you prefer.
At this point, I give up. I can see she has seen my messages. Hmmm.
The next morning, I try once more:
I’m not trying to hurt your reputation.
Screen shot of the above texts
