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How Dr. Bauman can save his own …

Recent artistic depiction of Ozark R-VI School Superintendent

OZARK, MO — Anything’s possible. I mean, even the Superintendent of the Ozark R-VI School District has the capacity to do it.

Do what, you ask?

Save his ass!

Why Does Chris Bauman Need to Save His… you know...

Here’s why he needs to, first of all. He’s run out of political ammunition. Credible, reliable sources keep bringing up stuff he’d rather ignore. Stuff like how he abuses his power, intimidates and bullies long standing teachers, and suppresses and tries to bribe and coerce anyone who dares defy him.

He’s got the other administrators and all but one school board member in a choke hold. They all fall into place to lick his combat boots, boots he hasn’t worn in years, but loves to wear mentally, along with his Napolean hat and coat, I’m sure! He can’t use his combat boots to stomp out all the political fires he and his quirkly school board and uptight administrative “yes men” start, so he has another Ace in the Hole…

Tonight, Tuesday, October 25, he and his sidekick minions host a Town Hall Meeting to answer questions from the public about the beleaguered school district.

Normally, we’d invite all of you to come and ask your questions, because that’s exactly how local governments are supposed to operate. Listen to the people they serve.

But not this school district. No, they have pre-screened questions that they have carefully spun answers for to avoid getting into more hot water legally. They decided in advance not to address personnel issues, and while that’s a good idea not to publicly bash an individual or bring up sensitive information in THEORY, this bunch had crossed that line so many times, it no longer applies.

They’ve made everything they don’t wanna talk about to be “personnel related” so they can avoid stuff like why they didn’t address the mold issue in the middle school that affected students and teachers’ health, or why they didn’t require students to wear masks during covid but forced teachers to do so, even when some of them had medical reasons not to.

Or why one of the school board members committed a hate crime during the election, or why another school board member has a history of abusing alcohol and driving, or another school board member assaulted someone in anger. You know, little stuff like that.

If they allow one thing to be okay on the school board, then the next, it gets easier to be okay with someone on the board committing a hate crime, a felony, and getting away with it.

That’s how vigilante politics work.

Until, the public has had enough.

Until the public realizes it’s not just a “few bad apples” trying to spoil the party.

Until the public doesn’t settle for pre-packaged fakery in phony Town Hall meetings and demands accountability.

Now for HOW Dr. B Can Save His Ass Tonight!

So, here’s the solution. Dr. Chris Bauman, tonight at the Town Hall Meeting at 6 p.m. at the Ozark High School Auditorium (I strongly suggest you go to feel the “vibe” of this phony meeting designed to jerk off the public) needs to do the following:

(I have provided his script for him here).

Dr. B: (Standing, nervously, and taking the microphone)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you all for being here tonight.

I was going to hold a specific agenda with the meeting tonight, but God gave me a conscience. (Dramatic pause, as the weight of his sins comes full recognition mode).

I am here to apologize to you and to ask your forgiveness. I was wrong to brush the concerns of staff members aside for the past several years. I was wrong to pretend I was innocent of covering up mold and other health and safety concerns brought to my attention by our dedicated staff members.

I have been an ass, and now it’s time to come clean.

Please feel free to speak your mind tonight. We are here as a board and administration to listen to you. You pay taxes that pay us. You elected our board, you paid my salary with your hard-earned tax dollars. I owe all I am to you.

I am privileged to serve such a thriving community. This community is growing and we are here for you as we grow together.

I don’t take this lightly. I have been an utter fool.

I am ready now to listen and make adjustments immediately to correct the evil that I have perpetrated against my wonderful teachers and staff members, and even my students whom I dearly love.

I would gladly step down and give up my salary if it meant the community would be better served. Until then, I am ready to listen and apply all suggestions that are truly beneficial to the students, staff and their families.”

Or, something like that.

Yep. That would be a good start.

See you tonight for the REAL version. If you can’t make it, I’ll be there to report on it for you!

Thanks for reading the Christian County Trumpet.

8700cookie-checkHow Dr. Bauman can save his own …