Truth now told: Banned from James River Church (Part 4)

CHAPTER 3

I was booted off the James River Assembly media crew for the second time. The director was embarrassed about it. I could tell he didn’t understand why.

This time, I was put into a series of classes for people with “Life Controlling Issues.”

That was true. I was addicted to internet chat room conversations that were inappropriate with anonymous women. I was married and now had three sons. I was in counseling with my wife about it. She distrusted me and felt abandoned by my reckless behavior.

James River is a big, flashy church with a specific culture. At first, it seems really cool. I couldn’t wait to go to church. It was the highlight of my week. The fellowship was great. So many classes and options; I called it the smorgasbord church.

My wife and I joined a marriage enrichment class, called “Marriages by Design.” They had a musical jingle, “marriages by design, building marriages to last a lifetime.”

The class had more than 100 in attendance, so we were divided into tables of 8 or 10. My wife and I acted out skits related to the marriage topic from time to time. Every Sunday we were table discussion leaders.

One thing to note: Had I been unrepentant about my sexual sin, they would not have allowed me in any leadership position or media crew position. When they found out about my struggles, they removed me from leadership. That’s appropriate. That’s healthy. I went through a sexual purity class. I went to an anger management class. I went to a class for life controlling issues. I went to a grief recovery class (my good friend had died). I wanted to get help and change and be pure in my heart and mind.

So, I was familiar with the process of working through issues. Sexual integrity was important to me. I wanted to be a man of God and show a good, godly example as the spiritual leader in my home. Our 4th son was born in 2009. We were a growing family and our church family at James River was growing, too. The new building was filling up. The youth building was filling up. A fitness center was added. More expansion. More growth. New campuses sprouted up.

Men’s group leader

I led a men’s group with my friend. I wrote a book about men and friendship. Unlikely Friend by John Cockroft on Amazon. Later, I wrote a book about divorce called Divorced Christian Dad. I was divorced in 2012, shortly after being kicked out of James River in 2011.

New Guru

John hired another guru for an administrative pastor and this guy took the heart and soul out of the most talented man on staff, the children’s pastor. The children’s pastor, who had a huge following, oodles of talent, did great at ventriloquism, and stage plays and fundraisers and magic and costumes and was a better singer than the worship leader, was squashed. The new administrative pastor wanted reports and details before the children’s pastor, who had been there a long time, could do anything. Took the creativity and joy out of the whole deal.

The children’s pastor left. Shortly thereafter, so did the power-hungry administrative pastor. They went through a lot of pastors under John Lindell. He’s a tough dude to work for. Finally, nowadays, his kids got old enough to fall in line for the throne. It’s like they’re a clan by themselves, ingrown and too close to see their own arrogance.

Being kicked out was due to my relapse into sexual sin online. I never cheated physically, only emotionally and mentally. But my wife had had enough, and she had every right to divorce me. But I believe God hates divorce, and reconciliation was the only answer. I told the judge that. He gave me six months to try to salvage the marriage. I did everything I could think of.

Cultish Club

I attended men’s events at the church campgrounds, and couples’ events, etc. and John Lindell and the leaders sat around talking and joking. Everyone hung on his every word, like he was infallible. Cool, attractive, rich people were favored. Broke, struggling people like me were on the outs. I eventually lost all my shine with the ever-growing leadership team. They all started sounding and looking like a cultish club.

It’s the way they act towards outsiders. They don’t have time or money for anyone but themselves. They want good media coverage and great visual team members. Everything, from music and video production, was top of the line. I remember the media director they hired was a former Billy Graham Crusade video production guy. A real “yes man” for John Lindell and his ideas.

He said they had no limits on the budget. “Don’t look at the price when ordering new equipment,” the camera crew director told me they told the new guy. “Just get the best the industry has to offer.”

Everything at James River was about the money. Still is.

Lap of Luxury

Once I was delivering packages for UPS and came to this mansion. The young homeowner answering the door was none other than David Lindell, John’s oldest son. I thought, Wow, this young man and his young family are living in the lap of luxury.

It’s all about the money at JRC. They ask for it, they ask for your bank statements; a friend of mine recently told me her daughter couldn’t finish her free courses promised to her at James River College because of an outstanding child support bill from my friend’s past. Wow.

Another friend said they were in need and were told by JRC they don’t help anyone but their own members. And others reminded me of the ice storm of 2007 when other churches opened up for heat for the public who lost power, but not JRA. They didn’t want anyone in their building!

Debbie’s Dumb Dad

Debbie Lindell encouraged us to go to counselling with her father, Tim Keene, who was on staff at JRA.

So we did.

Tim Keene asked me how many women I’d chatted with in my lifetime online. I said maybe 1,000. He called me a male prostitute. I said I didn’t have the legs for that, trying to joke it off, but it hurt and offended me that he used such language. He said I was chasing a woman he called a “semen receptacle.”

I found his language offensive and inappropriate. Too over the top. The other counselor father figure guy had just said, “What’s going on with you?” before listening to my wife complain about me for 45 minutes. He spent the last 5 minutes telling us he had a “killing anger” when he was young and wrapped it up with a prayer. Boom. Done.

All in all, JRA meant well, but didn’t really care about my desire to be free from my sexual sin. I took all their classes and when that didn’t “fix” me, they dumped me. I found out the hard way.

On July 17, 2010 my wife called me while I was working at kids camp to say she had found another inappropriate conversation on my laptop. I was crushed. I read my Bible and wept. I felt so ashamed of myself. I told the lady I was working for in the kitchen at camp about it. She looked sad for me.

Next thing I know, a leader of the camp tells me he doesn’t know my motives and has a staff member drive me home. I was dismissed from camp. On the way home, I told the staff member that Tim Keene was the problem. He was inappropriate in the way he talked to me. I told him what Tim had said to me in a counseling session.

THAT WAS WHAT GOT ME BOOTED FROM MEMBERSHIP…

The following month, in August, my wife took our kids (we had 4 boys now) and drove to her family out of state. I was so mad. I was alone for 10 days and she told me to pack up and leave before she returned.

I waited for her instead, with a song I’d written for her, flower petals on the floor, etc. I’d cleaned the gutters and the house and made her a dinner of her favorite foods.

Nothing worked. Too little too late. Her family and the church people were all against me.

They were okay with my divorce

I was separated from my wife. She wanted a divorce, and the church leaders were okay with that. I wasn’t. I tried to get help from another man at church, but he only gave me a list of scriptures pointing out my sins and flaws.

Another man, who was divorced, led a home church group we also attended. He told me my wife had every right to divorce me. I told him I believe in reconciliation, and I was truly repentant. And I was. But he and the home group ousted me.

Meanwhile, Tim Keene had called to set up another meeting with just me and I told him unless he could tell me what it was about, I wouldn’t be comfortable in a meeting with him. I told him and another church leader it was because he wouldn’t say what he wanted to meet with me about.

Letter from church board (Dear John Letter)

In September, 2011, I tried to check my son into the children’s area but my security badge didn’t work. I went to my friend who worked the children’s area and she let me in. I came back after service to get my son and again, my badge didn’t work. This time, my friend who was the new executive pastor approached me. “John, we sent you a letter from the church board.”

“I didn’t check my post office box for a few days. What’s this about?”

He shook his head sadly. “The board met and removed you from membership. You’re no longer welcome to attend services here.”

He showed me a copy of the letter, signed by the board. I had failed short of membership expectations. I was out. Most important: YOU HAVE SPREAD FALSEHOODS ABOUT A STAFF MEMBER, NAMELY TIM KEENE.

So, for telling on the pastor’s father-in-law, I got the boot.

They hoped I would find another Bible teaching church and move on, yada yada.

“What about my kids?” I stammered.

“They can be here, but you can’t.”

“Not even to pick them up?” I asked, voice rising.

“You aren’t allowed back into the building,” my executive pastor friend explained. “Unless it’s to attend a special Christmas service or something like that.”

So there it was. I was banned from James River Church.

Divided Opinions

I know a lot of people have divided opinions about the church. I haven’t spoken about this for 13 years because I don’t want to spread negativity. But with recent headlines nationwide and people paying attention to JRC, I believe it is time to talk openly.

I’m obviously not perfect. I have repented. I was divorced in February, 2012 and remarried a wonderful Christian woman May 5, 2014. I am free from my sexual addiction these past 12 years. I am active at my current church and feel love and accepted. I hold no grudge against James River or John Lindell. He is a powerful, ego driven man. Image is all important to him.

Forgive and Forget?

I shared my story with only my closest friend and a few family members. It was important to me not to hold a grudge or become bitter. I hold nothing against JRC. They have every right to do what they did.

In 2015, I opened up to a new friend who had connections with the Assemblies of God Fellowship. He urged me to try one more time to reconcile and ask for forgiveness and a chance to return to JRC since my ex-wife and kids attended there. “I’m sure they’ll see you have a repentant heart,” he said.

So I did. Perhaps they would be forgiving and I would gladly embrace them as friends, even though I wouldn’t attend there regardless. It would be nice to have the relationship restored.

I wrote an email to John Lindell, asking for forgiveness and acknowledging my wrongdoing, without any blame on them. I asked if I could return to attend services. John Lindell had always responded to my emails within minutes over the years. Not this time.

A formal, terse reply from a staff member. To paraphrase: “Our decision remains. You are not allowed on our campuses.”

More recent JRC visits

I have visited JRC for their Christmas shows. Click here for that. They are hype and immature for the first half. They act like people are starved for hype and noise and flash.

I recognized many faces, but most are new now. Some greeted me. It was nostalgic. They are adding another new section to the massive building. One of the ushers and I shook hands, remembering old times with our faces. Some of my friends there still show kindness to me. I love those people!

As for the church…It’s all a big production. It’s all about tithe money. They push money and flash. They don’t take criticism.

They are bigger and better and they know best.

Well, God knows best. This recent controversy proves John Lindell is an ego maniac. False prophet? Not sure, but he does misuse Scripture for his own spin.

I would be careful if I went there. There are better places to worship.

Johnny Rooster is honest. And, he loves God and people. Thanks for reading, my friends.

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