JEFF CITY, MO — The Ozarks Conservatives, led by Mike Moon and Brad Hudson, squeaked by a narrow victory over the Jeff City DemRinos in the final quarter of a nail-biting shootout in the state capital last Wednesday.
Coach Mike Parson made the final call, signing the agreement that because of Moon and Hudson’s prowess on the court, he’s okay not letting the DemRinos have their way against innocent children.
It was back and forth during the first half in a standoff that shouldn’t have even taken place. A game like this is a game for keeps; as two teams battled for the minds, souls, and even the bodies of innocent school children in Missouri.
Moon and Hudson came out of the huddle during a time out in the fourth quarter. They had steel in their eyes and ice in their veins. The two of them back-and-forthed across the court with the resolve of Michael Jordan taking a stand against Lebron James. It was magical.
The two red-jerseyed Missouri legislators outgunned their lawmaking opponents, decked in Blue DemRino colors with a glaring rainbow emblem. It was a sight to see.
“This game meant everything. A lot was at stake,” declared Johnny Rooster, head honcho at the Christian County Trumpet.
Rooster was among the media pack circling Moon and Hudson for comment after the game. “Why did you do it, Mike?” one reporter asked Moon, shoving a mike at Mike.
Moon wiped sweat from his dark mustache and perfect 80s TV show detective hairdo. He smiled and pointed skyward. “It’s for Him,” he said simply. “And, for the children.”
Hudson couldn’t leave the locker room without a swarm of media maggots tagging along as well. “Mike and I are standing up for those who can’t stand up for themselves,” he said as cameras flashed. “If we don’t protect children, who will?”
In case you’ve been hiding under a rock…
For those of you who don’t know what the Internet looks like, or avoid all screens at all times, this big game was a victory for people who don’t think Missouri school children should have access to being deformed and mutilated in the name of recent sexually acting out perverts who try to sexualize and sterilize kids.
Why the hell would any adult want to do that to children? Chop off their private parts, steer them into a lifestyle of depression and suicide, and render their young bodies useless and suffering?
God only knows. And God cares. He’s here for you. If you’ve been wearing the Blue DemRino jersey with the rainbow emblem, it’s time to take it off and join the red team.
Thanks, Mike and Brad. You’re our children’s favorite heroes. Your posters are going up on the walls of every kids’ bedroom, because you’re safe and sane! Thank God that Coach Parson guy went along with it, too.
This game ain’t ever really over…
You may have heard the phrase, “evil has no curfew”…. well, folks, the bad news is, it’s true. The DemRinos are still out there, looking for a win in Missouri. We Conservatives gotta band together. It’s more than wearing red. It’s more than cheering for our team. It’s about us taking the court and playing to win with fellow Conservatives.
As good as this victory is today, it has a sunset clause. A pervert wack job in the DemRino section pushed for it to expire after he leaves office in 2027. He’s trying to appease us with this as if he is in favor of it. Ask Mike Moon and Brad Hudson for his name. And tell your friends.
Do it for the kids!
Here’s what the “normal news” folks wrote about the game:
Governor Parson Signs Legislation to Protect Children from Harmful Experimental Surgeries and Treatment
JEFFERSON CITY, Mo. – Legislation passed by the Missouri General Assembly with the intent of protecting children from unnecessary and harmful sex change drugs and surgeries has been signed into law.
Governor Mike Parson on Wednesday signed off on SB 49, a legislative proposal that establishes the Missouri Save Adolescents from Experimentation (SAFE) Act.
The SAFE Act prohibits health care providers from performing gender transition surgeries or prescribing hormones or drugs for the purposes of gender transition to Missouri children under the age of 18. Until August 28, 2027, it would also prohibit a health care provider from prescribing or administering cross-sex hormones or puberty-blocking drugs to a minor for a gender transition, unless the minor was receiving such treatment prior to August 28, 2023.
The bill, handled by State Rep. Brad Hudson and Sen. Mike Moon, seeks to ensure that children are protected from making life-altering and irreversible decisions regarding their gender that they may come to regret as they get older and reach maturity.
The SAFE Act also bars MO HealthNet, Missouri’s Medicaid program, from providing payment for gender transition surgeries, cross-sex hormones, or puberty-blocking drugs for the purpose of gender transition. Additionally, health care services provided to incarcerated individuals in Missouri prisons, jails, and correction centers will not include elective gender transition surgeries. These provisions ensure Missouri taxpayer dollars are not spent on elective gender transition procedures. A violation of the provisions would be considered unprofessional conduct and would result in the revocation of the health care provider’s professional license.
“Sex changes and kids are two things that should never go together. I am pleased that Governor Parson has signed this important legislation, and am honored to have been able play a role in protecting Missouri children,” Hudson, R-Cape Fair, said. “Taxpayers should never be forced to pay for sex changes. In working on SB 49, we focused on creating common sense legislation that our state can be proud of. This is a win for children, for families, and for Missouri.”
The bill, having been signed by the Governor, takes effect on August 28, 2023.
Representative Brad Hudson, a Republican, represents Stone and Christian Counties (District 138) in the Missouri House of Representatives. He was elected to his first two-year term in November 2018. For more information, please contact Rep. Hudson’s office at 573-751-3851 or by email at Brad.Hudson@House.Mo.Gov.
State Representative 138th district
EDITOR’S NOTE: Johnny Rooster is a lunatic crazy enough to stand up for children in the wake of the woke mob. He welcomes your comments and contributions to his publication, The Christian County Trumpet. For more, ChristianCountyTrumpet.com and ChristianCountyTrumpet@gmail.com God save America!