An epic Ozark school board race is now underway

OZARK, MO — An epic Ozark school board race is now underway.

To put it in biblical terms, it’s a classic “David vs. Goliath” showdown.

It’s gonna be a nail-biter; get the popcorn!

The Christian County Trumpet is proud as a peacock to sit ringside. Extra! Extra! We thrive on this stuff!

Here’s the two to watch:

Goliath

Enter stage left, the one, the only, Goliath…. aka RAAAAAAALPH PHIIILIIIIIIIIPS!

All the cool kids cheer; standing and whistling and clapping so hard their hands tingle! A group of high school cheerleaders, on cue, form a pyramid as the lead cheer guy, Chris Bauman, grabs a megaphone:

CB: Gimme an R!

Crowd (in unison): R!

CB: Gimme a P!

Crowd (confused, less enthusiastic) P?

CB: What’s that spell?

A murmuring ripple through the crowd. A kindergartener waves her hand high and yells: RP!

CB: That’s right! RP! RP! R-P! ) (He’s frantically waving in a sweeping upward gesture to get the audience to respond)

30 to 40 percent of the crowd, chanting in unison: R-P! R-P! R-P! R-P!

Suddenly, the door bursts open…

David

He’s similar size as Goliath, actually, with silver hair and matching mustache. He’s wearing a rough robe and sandals, and mirrored shades. He roars in on a sleek black Harley-Davidson as the crowd scampers out of the way. A beautiful woman rides in the passenger seat.

The show is about to begin:

There are other contenders, but this one is epic:

Ralph Phillips, former President Commissioner for Christian County, has lived around here for ions. He’s well known, name recognition. He’s been a volunteer of the year at the Ozark schools. He might feel like the hare in the tortoise and the hare. The guy who could win the school board election even if he stays holed up in a basement during the election.

He’s running for school board.

Another school board candidate, David (aka Anthony Petrosino) is a stranger from California. Nobody knows him. He’s a newbie.

But, there’s something newbie boy can offer that familiar name recognition boy can’t.

This new guy is gonna be a watch dog for the current administration. He’s not gonna settle for the business as usual cronies and follow the superintendent like a lemming.

Ralph likes to pretend he’s in charge wherever he goes. So, stroke his ego and he might be okay, or he might turn on ya.

But one thing’s for sure. If you want a good David and Goliath story, I’d vote for David (er, Anthony Petrosino) in the April school board election.

We all know how the real David and Goliath thingy turned out.

Meet the school board candidates March 7

On Tuesday, March 7, from 6 p.m. until 7:30 p.m. at the Ozark High School auditorium.

Find out more about David, Goliath, and the other candidates (six of them total) vying for the three open seats.

Fact is, the three who get on the board will make the difference if they can. Otherwise, it’s business as usual. Everything matters in this election, so get informed and vote!

212950cookie-checkAn epic Ozark school board race is now underwayyes