NEW ORLEANS, LA — I had a little trouble during the night sleeping in my car. I realized later that one of the panels wasn’t properly folded down and left a gap under my foam mattress, so I kept rolling into a mystery “hole”…
The neighborhood was quiet and peaceful and dark enough. I didn’t use any window covers and had to keep the windows rolled down all the way because of the warm, humid air. (A far cry from February in Missouri!)
February 14 Valentine’s Day
Today was Valentine’s Day. My wife was 1,357.9 miles away (thanks Google maps!) and she didn’t know I’d left Christian County.
7:00 AM— Time to adventure and make the most of it. I’d spent $84.19 on the trip getting here. Time to recover that.
Biting a baby at New Orleans Mardi Gras
I washed my face at a nearby Walmart and noticed the ever popular Mardi Gras dessert “King Cake” for sale. It included a tiny plastic baby…
I imagine being the one to bite into baby Jesus’ plastic flesh…ouch!
Making money on the road
Fortunately, my job goes with me anywhere, anytime. As a Top Door Dasher, I can turn the app on and deliver food and other items to customers from anywhere in the U.S. with the click of button on my smart phone.
I got an order for a dozen donuts. I was in a happy Valentine-y mood. The text from the customer and me goes like this:
I have doordashed in 8 states for four years, with more than 5500 deliveries completed. So I have overcome most situations. Not one, not two, but three “first of their kind” situations happened in New Orleans!
Atypical delivery situation #1
I was picking up items at Dollar General. The red card doordash provides to pay for the order didn’t go through. I figured it was because I had to alter the order (a different color item and the customer was aware of the change.)
However, the customer service line at Door Dash wouldn’t transfer me to a live person to explain that I’d accidentally pressed the “confirm order” button and the App thought I was en route to the customer when indeed I couldn’t pay for the items with the Door Dash card.
Long story short, I paid for it with my card and continued to reach out to Door Dash numerous times. The air was sunny and warm. I arrived at the customer’s upstairs apartment. Carlos was a young, dark haired man with a food stain on his white T-shirt.
I explained the situation. “I can’t get through on the Dasher support line. I paid for this order myself because the red card didn’t work.”
“I’m a Dasher, too,” Carolos explained. “I’ll call support.”
Whew! Thank you God!
We got the situation cleared up and the company re-imbursed me plus paid me the correct compensation for the delivery.
Atypical Delivery #2
I was to deliver a “Cash on Delivery” order. Ok, not your typical, but I can collect the money from the customer. I get to the house, and nobody is home. I recalled one order in Missouri where the customer didn’t acknowledge an alcohol order. The company told me to “dispose” of the alcohol, a case of Michelob ultra bottles.
Ok, I’m not a beer guy, so I went to Ozark Beach Volleyball dome and talked to the owner, Michael. “I can’t buy it from you, but I can give you the amount of the item in the form of a gift card to our food court here,” he offered.
Deal!
But this was another first. The customer was supposed to pay cash on delivery and she wasn’t home.
A neighbor saw me standing on the porch. It was a run-down ethnic neighborhood with more litter than i’d ever seen north of the border. I was glad it was at least daytime.
“Who you lookin’ for?”
I told her.
“This is my house, and that ain’t me.”
Oh boy.
“I’ll call the customer,” I said. A pink haired woman next door picked up her phone and the neighbor and I realized it was for her.
“How much do I owe you?” Pink Hair asked.
“Uh, $3.50,” I replied, stupidly, only looking at the delivery commission.
“It says $29.50,” she wisely pointed out.
Oh duh. She’s supposed to pay me for the entire order!
She pulled out two 20 dollar bills. “You got chainge?”
“Uh, no.”
“Here you go,” she said, adding two more dollars. “Keep it.”
$12.50 tip. I was one happy white boy. Bring on the ‘Hood, I’ll be happy to deliver there! Thanks Pinky! I almost hugged her!
Atypical delivery #3
One order came in to pick up food 17 long minutes away. I waded and weaved through traffic, a maze of one-way streets, road construction, and potholes. NOLA is notorious for BAD streets! (Pothole Pete Buttigieg could relate!)
When I finally arrived at the GPS location site, I was on an electric trolley track against a downtown convention center with NO FREE parking and NO options. The food pick up location was buried inside a massive building that I can’t even walk to without a $150 towing fee! (I got towed my first time in NOLA when I parked on St. Anne in the French Quarter on Thursday morning (street cleaning day). They clean the streets all right; pick up all the vehicles and take ‘em to the pound! A man with a cassette recorder and a suit and tie will tell you on the 8th floor of city hall there is “no other recourse” if you wait for two hours to plead your case… don’t ask me how I know!)
Back to 2023: I called the customer. “I can’t park anywhere near the pick-up location. I don’t live around here. What do you want me to do?”
“Cancel the order, no problem,” he said.
Good answer. It was the only answer I could relate to! My 100% completion rate will just have to settle for a measly 99%!
Counting my blessings (And my money)
All said and done, Valentine’s night became a marathon of money making deliveries. People don’t want to go out for the special evening; too much traffic, one-way streets, and of course, potholes (my suspension and tires were crying actual tears, I’m sure!) But at least, they were paying me to fetch in the dark!
My food supply had become rancid in the hot weather, and I had to scrape my glass container and ziplock bags free from spoiled cheese, hamburger, and lettuce. So gross, I lost my appetite!
I’ll stick to eating chips, canned pears, and Granny smith apples!
I went on five separate “Dashes” and took site seeing breaks in between.
Delivery payouts were:
$26.06; $39.23; $22.06; $5.50; $80.04 for a total of $172.69.
Plus that $12.50 cash tip and I had the cash on hand from the cash order; though my account had to pay the cash back for the order minus tip.
Happy Valentine’s Day to me!
TOTAL INCOME SO FAR: $185.19 (included $12.50 cash tip from Pink Hair)
CASH RECEIVED SO FAR: $42
CASH ON HAND AT START OF TRIP: $70
TOTAL CASH ON HAND: $112
TOTAL EXPENSES SO FAR: $84.19
NET PROFIT SO FAR: $100.50
After deliveries, I got into the spirit of the Valentine’s holiday and wrote a sign reading: FREE DAD HUGS FOR VALENTINE’S DAY and walked down Bourbon Street with it.
I got as many hugs from men as from women, some of them heartfelt. A man in a bar grabbed my sign and solicited hugs from partiers.
An older woman handed me $3 as a tip. NEW NET PROFIT: $103.50
February 15
Another night of sleeping in the car in the quiet peaceful Garden District. Windows barely cracked; cooler overnight.
Another warm, sunny day in the upper 70s. Another day of fun sights and sounds, making money and spending as follows:
Spend $1 cash on two post cards
Spent .96 for two post card stamps at Mid City Post Office New Orleans
Mailed the post cards to my sons Luke, 24, in Missouri; Mark, 22; California
Bought gas at Orleans Center Market for $16.61
Bought gas again at Walmart in Meraux, LA. for $13.43 because it was $2.78 per gallon!
I tipped a waitress at a bar $1 for filling my water carrier with ice water
TOTAL FEB 15 delivery income: $120.06
GRAND TOTAL TRIP INCOME: $305.25
TOTAL EXPESES: $117.04
NET PROFIT: $188.21
Spilling the beans
I opened a can of beans mid afternoon in my car. It spilled goo from the lid onto my skinny jeans. I had to change into my previous jeans (boot cut) which forced me back into my cowboy boots.
I walked a record number of steps Feb 14 and Feb 15.
I filled my water containers at fast food restaurants and convenience stores. I didn’t buy any drinks.
STAY TUNED FOR THE FINAL PART 3 SOON
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