NEW ORLEANS, LA — I went to New Orleans Mardi Gras season by myself last week.
My wife was visiting her family in Colorado, and I wanted a change of scenery.
My son and I enjoyed Sunday evening Feb. 12, as many folks did, watching Super Bowl LVII. The game was memorable, even if you weren’t a Chiefs or Eagles fan!
After he left, I got to thinking about getting away by myself for a few. I decided to tell no one.
February 13
Monday, February 13. 8 AM. I’m done throwing things together.
Inventory:
4 pairs of socks
4 pairs of underwear
2 white T-shirts
2 colored T-shirts
2 pairs of jeans
A pair of good walking shoes and a pair of cowboy boots
razor, comb, mousse (remember the 80s?), toothpaste, toothbrush, deodorant, wash cloths, body wash, cloth rags, contacts solution/contacts case, aerosol cologne spray, mouthwash
A can opener
Cutting board and kitchen knife
Paper plates, cups
I put blankets and pillows in the back and folded down the seats for a sleeping area.
NOTE: I trimmed my nails the night before. Every time I take a trip, I trim them, so I don’t have to mess with it on the road.
a block of sharp cheddar
a glass container of hamburger mixed with rice and beans
a nasty can of pinto beans
a can of pears
an avocado
random strawberries and blueberries
two bags of pre-popped microwave popcorn
a Ziplock bag with soft flour tortillas
a bag with a little leaf lettuce remaining
a Ziplock bag with shredded cheddar cheese
cash on hand: $70 USD
mileage check on my 2007 Ford Freestyle (a fraudulent SUV that Ford later regretted manufacturing)
First Stop
Four miles from home, I stopped in Sparta, MO at Schneider’s Auto Repair shop. Danny Schneider gave me a quart of synthetic oil perfect for a high mileage oil-burning pieces of junk.
I took a selfie before leaving Sparta. In case anything happens. After all, no one knows where I’m going!
On the road to New Orleans Mardi Gras
Just me and my radio, listening to KSGF until the signal fades. Gotta love me some conservative talk radio!
CD player broken. No modern blue tooth technology. But hey, I’ve got this:
Second stop
Springfield, MO (yeah, it’s not on the way, but I had to drop off something for the guy I work for at Papa John’s on Glenstone!)
Third stop
9:33 AM
Snappy Mart #18 600 S Harris, Willow Springs, MO 65793.
Pump #5
Price per gallon: $3.09.9
Total: $16.33 on my Visa
Fourth stop
1:03 PM Kroger Fuel #469 West Memphis, Arkansas 72301
Pump #8
Price: $2.92.9 per gallon (and I thought Missouri was cheap!)
Total $21.55 on my Visa
Grand Total Expenses so far: $37.88
Fifth stop
1:11 PM, Kroger Grocery Store, West Memphis, Arkansas
Bag of Granny Smith green apples $4.99
Bag of Tostitos Hint of Lime Tortilla Chips $4.99
Tax: 0.34
Total: $10.32
Grand Total so far: $48.20
Sixth stop
3:30 PM, Magnolia Marathon, 120 Cherry Street, Magnolia, Mississippi 39652
Price per gallon: $2.97.9
Total: $15.67 on the good ol’ Visa
Grand Running Total: $63.87
The bathroom is occupied. I can’t wait, so I get out of there for another pit stop nearby.
Seventh stop
3:39 PM, Marathon Petro, 4850 Hwy 17, Pickens, MS 39146
Price per gallon: $3,09.9
Total on the trusty Visa: $20.32
Grand Total yadda yadda: $84.19 (I’m spending like it’s my favorite thing to do!)
New Orleans bound!
A few stretch and potty breaks, but no more gas and spending. The apples were tart, the driving uneventful through Jackson, MS and across the Louisiana border. It’s got darker, but warmer. My jacket was in the back seat nearly all day.
7ish PM: It was dark by the time I drove across the bayou swampland into the Big Easy. I parked on Carondelet Street, one of the umpteen million one-way streets in NOLA. The only free parking space available was smack dab in front of two homeless dudes eyeing me as I got out of the car.
“Some help for the homeless,” one called out.
“I’m practically homeless myself,” I replied.
“You don’t look it,” he fired back.
Well now, thank you, Buckle in the Battlefield Mall, for ensuring I don’t look homeless after an 11 hour trip!
I meandered across Canal Street into the French Quarter onto infamous Bourbon Street, notorious for Mardi Gras revelers.
Way less enthusiastic than a visit I recalled from 9 years ago. Even less energy than last year’s visit at this time. This is my fourth visit to New Orleans. The first was before Katrina, back in the late 90s. No comparison, much more going on back then, in a good way. Now, dark, dirty, and rundown.
Stupid Covid propaganda and unreasonable rules and regulations have a way of stifling the fun! (If you didn’t agree with that last sentence, I know you voted for Joe!)
No trouble getting up on the once coveted balconies. No beads or boobs around here.
“Smile, you’re on vacation,” a local called out to me on my way back to see if the car hasn’t been vandalized.
“How do you know I’m on vacation?” I quipped.
“You look at everything,” he said. “Keep your wallet in your front pocket and don’t accept anything handed to you.”
“Already there,” I said. “I’m not here to spend money. I’ve been here before. This is the dirtiest town I’ve ever seen. I’m sorry 2020 was so awful for you guys. I remember how it used to be before they tore this place apart.”
The guy fist-bumped me as he knodded in agreement.
Where should I sleep?
I Googled “wealthiest neighborhoods in New Orleans” and the “Garden District” headed the list.
I followed the GPS to a series of quiet streets. I settle for Camp Street between Second and Third, tucked away from street lights and the scrutiny of mansion dwellers. It’s 10 PMish.
A raucous wandering parade of Mardi Grassers with brass instruments and a drum marched by a block or two away. I wandered over and asked the lady standing beside the entrance as a colorful cast of costumed characters saunters in, talking the drunk talk.
“Tradition with our Krewe. Every year the Monday before Lundi Gras, we are invited to this restaurant.”
It’s rich, like the neighborhood. And I get to sleep here, in my car, for free!
PART 2 COMING SOON
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